Laura Maposa

POPULAR TikToker Lonlisha Mufari says she feels guilty of causing the accident in which her husband, businessman Kudzai Keita, and his mother, were both killed in Harare in October last year.

 Lonlisha was the one driving the car at the time of the accident. The fatal crash occurred along the Mutare Road at Rhodesville Police Station.

Yesterday, she went on TikTok and, as she was sobbing, revealed how she has been struggling to cope after the accident.

“Survival guilt is killing me because how did l walk out of an accident that killed my husband and mother-in-law?

“I now understand people that take drugs because l was in a really bad position and place in my life.

“I’m really struggling to pick up the pieces after such a deep loss.

“I don’t know how to move on with my life, maybe time will heal me but I am struggling.

“

If it wasn’t for my child, l don’t think l would be here.

“Life did not stop because l was grieving, bills still needed to be paid, my mother-in-law left kids.”

She added:

“I don’t think I can take it any more, life is just hard emotionally.

“Sometimes, when l have just a normal day I start getting triggered.

“I couldn’t drive for a month, the day of the accident is tattooed in my mind for life.

“

I just need five minutes with my husband and mother-in-law just to know if they are okay.

“Valentine’s Day was a trigger for me and I spent the whole day crying because I started reminiscing about how much my husband loved me so loudly.

“Ndirikurwadziwa ini, I can’t even go to church because I feel like God has forsaken me, I had to move back to my mother’s house because I couldn’t stay alone and find peace.”

She said accidents were seemingly stalking her late husband.

“It wasn’t his first accident, he was involved in another accident four days before the one that took his life.

“It’s very unfortunate that l was driving and the first two months l couldn’t explain how the accident happened.

“I kept seeing visions of the car accident.

“My husband was full of life, seeing him lying on the ground dead, it’s very unbearable.

“I walked out of the car with a few scratches so l assumed everyone was not hurt.

“Though most of us are aware that death is an inevitable part of our lives, it is still a challenging process each time someone we love dies, you never get used to it.

“Death is an unwelcome guest, one you can’t turn away, one you begrudgingly make space for and accommodate.

“But God I’m hurting,” she said.

Socialite and video vixen, Tariro Gezi hopped on to the TikTok live and tried to console her.

“I am happy you have gotten the strength to talk about this publicly. l didn’t lose someone to death but my ex-husband broke me to the core.

“You have to be strong, it’s very hard losing someone so dear to you.

“I remember telling you that God will help you through.

“Grief is the process and emotions that we experience when our important relationships are significantly interrupted or (more frequently) ended, either through death, divorce, relocation, theft, destruction, or some similar process.

“I tried to kill myself six times, talk about substances, l did even, just to get my things out of my mind.

“I had to open a support group that helped me heal. Find ways to help you heal.”